WWWWHHHHIIIINNNNNNEEEEE….Ugh! That sound….it grates on our nerves! A whining child can really turn our efforts at calm parenting on it’s head. It’s been a long day, perhaps a sleepless night and you’re tired….and your child is asking for something with the most annoying of whiny voices that could make any parent lose patience. Whining is to be expected as a normal part of every childhood phase, but it doesn’t have to be a regular occurrence! We’ve got a few simple tips on how to stop whining:
Whining is Different from Temper Tantrums
First off, let’s clarify that whining and tantrums are two different beasts! Learn more about tantrums here. Whining is when they are not really upset about anything, they just use that super annoying whiny voice to get what they want. Is it working for them?
You can listen to our ‘No More Whining!’ podcast here:
Why does whining happen?
Well, the fact that it may be working for them is the main reason they do it! If you give them what they want when they use their whiny voice, you will find them doing it often! If their initial efforts don’t work and the whining gets your attention and they get rewarded with what they wanted why wouldn’t they keep doing it?
How to stop whining?
- The first thing is to be consistent in your response to the whining.
- Get down to their level and offer a more appropriate way to ask. Teach them a much more effective way of asking for what they want. For example: “Mommy doesn’t understand that, try again using your big kid voice”, or “Try again without the whiny voice”.
It may take some time and many reminders so be patient. It won’t stop right away, but if you remind constantly and don’t give in to the whining you will find it will decrease significantly over time.
Have you caught yourself giving in to the whining?
You may only realize you have been giving in to the whining once that whining gets excessive. Maybe you were preoccupied or one parent gave in more than the other. No problem, just be mindful of this and work on going back to being consistent.
Discuss the issue with your parenting partner so that you are both on the same page. One parent may be much more tolerant of whining than the other and may not even notice or realize that giving in compounds the issue.
Try role playing with your child. You may be surprised of their response when you are playing the whiny child in the scenario.
We say it a lot, but consistency is your best parenting tool, and dealing with whining is no exception! Good luck parents!
If you find yourself struggling with parenting challenges and need help digging into the problem and coming up with solutions- we are here to help! We have helped many families (read what they have to say here)! Check out our services page and contact us for a free consultation to find out how we can help! We also offer many tips on our Youtube channel and of course our podcast!